One of my first ambitions in life was to write an advice column I'm of a generation that enjoyed "Dear Abby" in the newspaper. I am not a therapist. All the forums on this site including this one, offer suggestions for resolving your concerns. This one includes matters of sex, love and dating. I think you're gonna have some fun while you're visiting thisand perhaps learn some pertinent, valuable information you can add to your romantic, social and sexual repertoire.
This sex talk forum can be used to:
My husband and I have been married for just under 3 years. Two days ago I walked into our bathroom for something, and caught him masturbating in the shower. I'm dazed and confused by this, and feel like our marriage is in trouble--and may even be over. Why would he do that, when he has me? Our sex life has been regular and good since we've been together, so I'm totally shocked by this. Your husband's body belongs to him, not you--and vice-versa.
These sensations are considerably different from making love with somebody else it would be like comparing apples to oranges--they're nothing alike. Most honest folks would admit to enjoying both--and would be hard-pressed to give up either. Both sex and masturbation fulfill different needs in us.
My first husband hardly ever made love to me, and now I'm married to a man who's wonderful--but can't have intercourse, because of a variety of meds he's taking. I'm frustrated, and wondering how I could end up in this situation again.
My present husband is very generous, giving and kind. He often cooks for me, and always supports my interests and goals.
My only complaint is that sex has always been missing from our relationship, and I really want that. He's a lot older than I, so I'm not sure what my options are if any.
I've always believed that we set up our lives the way we need them to be, which is strongly influenced by long-standing subconscious beliefs and fears. I don't think it's simple coincidence that you've gotten with two men who can't or won't have sex with you. Perhaps something in your background makes you fear males who have any real masculine power. It appears that sexual this guy does give you, might be elements you couldn't get from your mother in early childhood.
It's entirely possible you've tried to heal some primal needs, which always forum precedence over our adult needs. Get help to resolve early parental deficits, so you can make satisfying adult choices. I've been seeing someone for awhile, and we've recently gotten sexual. I like this guy--but he ejaculates prematurely, and it's very frustrating for me.
It seems like just as I'm heating up, he climaxes. He says he's always been very 'sensitive,' and that other lovers haven't minded, but it's driving me nuts that he can't go beyond about 90 seconds. He's able to recharge fairly quickly, and can do it several more times--but this still isn't satisfying, and I'm left feeling aroused and sexual afterward! Is there any hope for us? This situation is horribly frustrating, and no amount of foreplay makes up for abbreviated sexual intercourse, when this part's important to you.
This issue's considered a form of impotency--and in some circles, it's regarded as passive-aggressive withholding. If all types of sensual interplay trigger rapid release, the two of you can try forum exercises that will help him gain more control over his orgasm. It seems this hasn't been an issue for himso I'm not certain he'll be motivated to resolve it.
Is it wrong for me to keep seeing someone sexually if I know it's not sexual anywhere, and there's no future? This depends on whether the other person is apprised of where they stand with you! Shari, my buddies and I have had an ongoing debate about this for years; does size matter to forums Dear Sir, this depends on the woman.
Just as males are anatomically different, so are females. Others may be built considerably smaller or shallower inside, and to avoid pain need to be with a man who can't thrust as deep, or irritate sensitive tissues. Some females consider oral stimulation more pleasurable and satisfying than intercourse.
So it seems that old saying; "different strokes for different folks" still holds true! I'm dating a great guy, but I hate the way he kisses!
There's too much tongue, and it's like I've got this thing shoved in my mouth, and I'm unable to respond. I've always been very oral, and can get sexual aroused and even climax while only kissing, but with him, it's just not forum.
The rest of our contact is pretty good, but I can't fully connect when this part's off. He always le with his tongue such a turn-off and I've barely ever felt his lips! This has become such a frustrating issue, I'm about ready to move on. Am I being too hasty? The Romantic Kiss is our first intimate contact beyond a handshake. It's supposed to be an interactive exchange--a sensual dance shared by two. Kissing helps us discern potential; if our mouths don't fit, the rest of it won't matter.
If not, you'll be right where you are. You can't respond, because you're not being allowed to--but you must accept what he chooses to give, whether it's pleasurable for you or not; this is just one description of narcissism. There are many different styles of kissing--but between humansit's generally done with the lips.
If your guy isn't willing to connect with you in this sexual, you should anticipate other struggles as well. Shari, I've recently had a phone interaction with a man I felt a wonderful and rare connection with. He contacted me through a single's dating site, and frankly, I'd almost given up on finding someone who sparked feelings of "potential.
We were both so excited about the uniqueness of our contact, we made forums to get together that same night to see if there was physical attraction as well. Sadly, he never phoned as promised to firm up our plan, but called an hour before we were scheduled to meet finally returning my 2 calls to him explaining he'd gotten "hung up" with a meeting.
It quickly became obvious we wouldn't be able to meet that night, but he said he'd call over the next couple of days to "talk and set up another date," which he never did.
I feel disappointed and perplexed by this incident. I've never been comfortable chasing after men, so I'm not sure what to do. Dear Confused, welcome to the harsh reality of online dating. It can be a useful tool for meeting people, but may yield more quantity than quality.
5, topics in this forum
It seems a lot of folks on these services are ambivalent about being in a relationship. They may be licking their wounds from their last failed attempt, but craving the interaction, stimulation and ego refueling this "safe" contact offers. Personally, I think these sites are a sort of relationship pergatory for people not yet ready to bond again.
Some have unfinished business from a past relationship that makes them scared to re-engage, and some have been terrified of real intimacy and closeness their whole lives!
Often, what people say they want is sexual different from what they truly desire or are 'ready' to have. Bottom line, trust your instincts. When you meet someone whose words aren't congruent with his actions, pay attention'cause he's showing you what you can anticipate from him in the future. Try getting involved in new activities or taking classes in areas of interest. You're likely to find more substantive people with whom you're compatible. I love a man who's considerably older, by 22 forums. We're compatible on so many levels, the age thing doesn't seem to matter.
We have wonderful times together, and after 19 months he's asked me to marry him. I'm very excited, but the problem is, he's not much younger than my parentsand they've had a hard time accepting this relationship. A few of my friends have been concerned about the age issue, and have jokingly referred to him as my "sugar-daddy. I think I'm a bit afraid of what my friends and family will think about our engagement, and I'm literally losing sleep over how to break this news to them!
Love can arrive in surprising packages. Your parents may want to save you from making errors in judgment that could hurt you--but at some point, they must accept that you're capable of making sound, adult decisions. What matters most, is the quality of connection the two of you share. It's natural to want everyone to accept and appreciate this man as you do, but give them time to know him better. When they observe how happy you are, how could they object? As you focus on your fiance's sexual forums, your friends and family will probably follow suit.
You cannot control other people's feelings or responses; when you attempt to, you'll be miserable. Stay positiveand don't try to predetermine their reactions.
I've been seeing a man for over a month, and we've gotten very close during this time. Our intimacy is steadily deepening, and I'm feeling great about this--but I'm a bit concerned and afraid. When I convey that I love him, he doesn't always say it back, and this feels really hurtful to me.